I: Playing Backgammon

            The snakes and I have lived together a long time.  When they saw us playing backgammon they wanted to try it also, especially the second-largest snake, who is very brave and always willing to try new things.  So we sat down at the table to play, and the little green snake who lives inside the backgammon set encouraged her.  Of course snakes have no  hands, so I had to roll the dice for her.  I had to move the pieces for her too – she could push them with her nose, but then her tail would “accidentally” knock other pieces off their points, and she couldn’t push pieces over the bar in the middle of the board.  So I had to do it all, for her side and mine.  I don’t know how she did it but she won.  Actually I think she might have cheated a little, but I’m not sure how an animal can cheat at backgammon when someone else handles the dice and moves the pieces. 

            Anyway when she won all the snakes insisted on celebrating, so we went out to a bar to drink beer.  It doesn’t take much beer to get a small snake drunk, so I poured one beer into a saucer for all of them to drink from.  Pretty soon they were laughing and singing snake songs, and it got harder to understand what they were saying.  Snake language is mostly hisses anyway, even when they are not drunk, but they didn’t care, and after a while they all fell asleep and I had to bring them home in my pocket.  One of them threw up in there, but it was OK because it was the very smallest snake and it made hardly any mess at all.