II: Snakes and Birds

            I told the snakes you were glad to hear about them, and they were pleased. But we have had some snake problems recently.  When they are not playing backgammon or checking their e-mail on my computer, or drinking coffee, or doing other inside things, they like to hang out in my back yard. They hunt there, and they lay eggs.  The problem is that they eat birds’ eggs, and the birds who live in my back yard don’t like it.  Also the birds like to eat snakes’ eggs.  So things got kind of angry – the snakes got mad at the birds for eating their eggs, and called them featherheads, which they are, sort of, but still, yikes! And the birds got very insulted at this, and called the snakes slinky-pants, which doesn’t make much sense because snakes don’t wear pants.

            Finally we turned to an anteater to settle it – everyone thought she could be fair because they don’t lay eggs and don’t eat them either.  She had come up from South America to eat the millions of ants that swarm all over my place when the rains come, and was just hanging around waiting for rain.  She decided that the birds and the snakes could fight it out somewhere else if they wanted to, but not in my back yard – in my back yard NO ONE COULD EAT ANY EGGS AT ALL. That was all I wanted – I have enough to do keeping peace here on my own land.  The snakes and the birds both saw that their eggs would be safe here and could hatch in peace.  So they shook hands, or would have if snakes and birds had hands, and that was the last we heard of it.