As noted in
Pseudonyms, I have decided that when (I do not say
if) I am finally elected Pope I will take the name Alexander IX. The letter below was sent to a friend, who regretted his actions as a professional fisherman, for which I absolved him.
Apostolic Palace
San Francisco
November 25, 2009
WE ALEXANDER
Prince of Apostles, Pontifex Maximus, Servant of the Servants of God, do by these patents and by the Authority of all the Saints, and in Mercy towards you, utterly absolve you from all sins and misdeeds fleshly and fishy and grant you
Plenary Indulgence
remitting all punishments therefor. We do further extend to you Our Apostolic Appointment to be
Chief Maritime Engineer to the Holy See
in partibus infidelium, with all emoluments thereto appurtenant, along with the style of
Cardinal Deacon
this appointment to be in pectore until Our Election shall be manifest.
In Nomine Dei, factum sit.
[sigilli locus]
This letter was deliberately designed to have the look of a form document with the name filled in. I sent it to Joel Solkoff as a Thanksgiving greeting in 2009, deliberately misspelling his name.
Apostolic Palace
San Francisco
November 25, 2009
WE ALEXANDER
Bishop of Rome, Vicar of Jesus Christ, Successor of the Prince of the Apostles, Supreme Pontiff of the Universal Church, Primate of Italy, Archbishop and Metropolitan of the Ro man Province, Sovereign of the State of Vatican City, Servant of the Servants of God
WISH YOU, Mr. Joe Sokolov , A VERY HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
DONE UNDER MY HAND AND APOSTOLIC SEAL.
ALEXANDER P.P. IX
Papal Correspondence (2)
Apostolic Palace
San Francisco
November 25, 2009
WE ALEXANDER
Prince of Apostles, Pontifex Maximus, Servant of the Servants of God, do by these patents and by the Authority of all the Saints, and in Mercy towards you, utterly absolve you from all sins and misdeeds fleshly and fishy and grant you
Plenary Indulgence
remitting all punishments therefor. We do further extend to you Our Apostolic Appointment to be
Chief Maritime Engineer to the Holy See
in partibus infidelium, with all emoluments thereto appurtenant, along with the style of
Cardinal Deacon
this appointment to be in pectore until Our Election shall be manifest.
In Nomine Dei, factum sit.
[sigilli locus]
Apostolic Palace
San Francisco
November 25, 2009
WE ALEXANDER
Bishop of Rome, Vicar of Jesus Christ, Successor of the Prince of the Apostles, Supreme Pontiff of the Universal Church, Primate of Italy, Archbishop and Metropolitan of the Ro man Province, Sovereign of the State of Vatican City, Servant of the Servants of God
WISH YOU, Mr. Joe Sokolov , A VERY HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
DONE UNDER MY HAND AND APOSTOLIC SEAL.
ALEXANDER P.P. IX