As noted in Pseudonyms, I have decided that when (I do not say if) I am finally elected Pope I will take the name Alexander IX. The letter below was sent to a friend, who regretted his actions as a professional fisherman, for which I absolved him.1
Apostolic Palace
San Francisco
November 25, 2009
WE ALEXANDER
Prince of Apostles, Pontifex Maximus, Servant of the Servants of God, do by these patents and by the Authority of all the Saints, and in Mercy towards you, utterly absolve you from all sins and misdeeds fleshly and fishy and grant you
Plenary Indulgence
remitting all punishments therefor. We do further extend to you OurApostolic Appointment to be
Chief Maritime Engineer to the Holy See
in partibus infidelium, with all emoluments thereto appurtenant, along with the style of
Cardinal Deacon
this appointment to be in pectore until Our Election shall be manifest.
In Nomine Dei, factum sit.
[sigilli locus]
This letter was deliberately designed to have the look of a form document with the name filled in. I sent it to Joel Solkoff as a Thanksgiving greeting in 2009, deliberately misspelling his name.
Apostolic Palace
San Francisco
November 25, 2009
WE ALEXANDER
Bishop of Rome, Vicar of Jesus Christ, Successor of the Prince of the Apostles, Supreme Pontiff of the Universal Church, Primate of Italy, Archbishop and Metropolitan of the Ro man Province, Sovereign of the State of Vatican City, Servant of the Servants of God
WISH YOU, Mr. Joe Sokolov , A VERY HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
DONE UNDER MY HAND AND APOSTOLIC SEAL.
ALEXANDER P.P. IX
A papal appointment in pectore (within the breast) is kept secret until conditions warrant revealing it, if they ever do. Sigilli locus indicates on a reproduced document where the seal was placed on the original. In partibus infidelium describes sees in formerly Christian places like Egypt and Syria, given as titles to bishops who need the rank for office jobs in Rome and in the Vatican diplomatic service. Cardinal deacons did not have to be priests until fairly recently, and I will fix that when I am elected. There are technical legal problems with this letter, as exercising any of the rights of the office before election would make me an antipope. There’s always something. ↩
Papal Correspondence (2)
Apostolic Palace
San Francisco
November 25, 2009
WE ALEXANDER
Prince of Apostles, Pontifex Maximus, Servant of the Servants of God, do by these patents and by the Authority of all the Saints, and in Mercy towards you, utterly absolve you from all sins and misdeeds fleshly and fishy and grant you
Plenary Indulgence
remitting all punishments therefor. We do further extend to you Our Apostolic Appointment to be
Chief Maritime Engineer to the Holy See
in partibus infidelium, with all emoluments thereto appurtenant, along with the style of
Cardinal Deacon
this appointment to be in pectore until Our Election shall be manifest.
In Nomine Dei, factum sit.
[sigilli locus]
Apostolic Palace
San Francisco
November 25, 2009
WE ALEXANDER
Bishop of Rome, Vicar of Jesus Christ, Successor of the Prince of the Apostles, Supreme Pontiff of the Universal Church, Primate of Italy, Archbishop and Metropolitan of the Ro man Province, Sovereign of the State of Vatican City, Servant of the Servants of God
WISH YOU, Mr. Joe Sokolov , A VERY HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
DONE UNDER MY HAND AND APOSTOLIC SEAL.
ALEXANDER P.P. IX