Japanese Landscaping Haiku

Peter Miller, who lives in Japan, is landscaping to build a new house. Maddened by squirrels who eat what he plants, he wrote me this haiku:

Squirrels are fucking
In my trees. But nothing stops
Their mad pursuit. Rats!

I chide him gently.

Sign of the Life Force.
Same force that created you.
Squirrels: Get a room!

He replies that the squirrels are non-native species without predators to control them. But he   “planted a cherry tree today, and moved many camellias, peonies, and daffodils out of the path of construction. And discovered another old tree that was nearly strangled by ivy vines, from which I freed it, is a rare variety of cherry tree, exquisite with many small white blossoms. Such happiness!” I respond.

Non-native species?
Are they from the Planet Zork?
We are all mammals!

Many small white blossoms.
You have become Japanese!
Oy, such happiness!

He answers that tree guys took all day to establish his cherry tree in its new home. Special vehicles brought it “to the exact location we selected for sunlight, compatibility with surroundings, and visibility from house. And careful observation by all from all angles to see that it has the right inclination and proportion. My bride is very happy, as am I.” I answer him.

Your bride is happy.
Tree now looks exactly right
From every angle.

Nature takes effort!
What a sloppy world G-d made
Without landscaping.

Peter complains that his building is interrupted because his plans encroach on a previously undisclosed property line. I caution him.

Stay within the lines!
We won’t tell you where they are
Until you cross them.

Gaijin* tied in knots
By our weird bureaucracy –
Oy, Such happiness!

He must offer us
Pies that have been fashioned from
Non-existent cherries.

April 2016

* Meaning a foreigner.